how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Alive.
So much puke
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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