I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
