Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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