I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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