You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
