marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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