TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
