i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
