This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
