So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
