she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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