So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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