I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
