Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
