I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize