But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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