He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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