i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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