that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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