Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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