Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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