omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
