I just pynch a tree in the face
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
