I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
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