i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
