I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
