I got chris browned last night
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You don't make any sense
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