You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
