Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
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