im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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