as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
is wine microwaveable?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
