True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
