Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
