Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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