i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
