Me too!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
