there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
