it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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