Banned from zoo.
Again?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
