I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize