How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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