dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
