She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
