Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
