I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
