your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
