Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
