Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
