why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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