does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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