Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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