it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
All I want is dick and wine.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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