Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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