did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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