She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he shaved USA in his pubs
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
be right there i have to get my cape
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
