She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
