We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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