I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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