The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
