Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
