You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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